Finally realizing the inevitable, the Duke and Duchess of Yuk have announced they are getting back together and in order to save taxpayers' money have chosen to renew their vows outside Westminster Abbey simultaneously with Prince William and Kate April 29th!
During a recorded conversation with a tabloid reporter in which the Duchess was negotiating her fee for appearing at a Spoof Convention, she wistfully admitted that 'life without Andrew really isn't worth living when you've lost all your perks that come with being a Royal!"
The couple, married in 1986, separated in 1992, and finally divorced in 1996 after a
photog captured a topless Fergie having her toes sucked , have remained in a
'close and loving relationship' according to a palace spokesman in charge of maintaining royal decorum.
In fact, the Duchess still resides under Prince Andrew's roof when not traveling abroad for her favourite charity, Herself.
Andrew for his part, has remained single all these years, and only recently has his boorishness , outlandish spending and questionable relationships brought his 'job' as UK Trade Representative into question.
Many in Parliament refer to Andrew as the "Clown Prince" and have quietly urged that he be made redundant, cutting off his global taxpayer funded travel and extensive entourage
including his personal pants presser.
Close male companions to Andrew say he often wished he hadn't divorced, but he found it 'impossible for Fergie to TOE the line' citing her proliferate spending and insatiable sexual appetite.
The announcement from the palace today about the double ceremony was met with mixed reaction throughout Britain.
On one hand, there were those who applauded Andrew's frugality by not subjecting the realm to two expensive royal weddings, on the other hand, there were those who said now
the Queen would have to pick up all of Fergie's charge cards and pay off bills from pending liens from former staff, the dress makers and Italian shoe stores.
"This is really great news," said Billionaire Jeff Epstein, Andrew's close companion and personal appointment's secretary ," I was getting a little tired of picking up the tab for her, now she's the Queen's problem, not mine!"
A spokesman for the couple said they are planning a low profile honeymoon in US and will be appearing on Leno, Oprah, The View and depending on whether Piers Morgan comes up with $500,000, on his show, "The BBC for Dummies."
In a joint press release, the future bride and groom said they hope their next child would be a boy named 'Sue' in memory of Sarah's favourite performer (johnny) CASH.