Written by dutch
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Wednesday, 23 March 2011

image for 'Nothing in Budget' For Mr and Mrs Average
It is Del Boy Economics

As usual Scrooge Geroge Osbourne has not given any cheer to Mr and Mrs Average and their 2.4 kids.

The smug 'Bullingdon Club' boy still looks like 'Little Lord Snooty' and is unable to relate to hard-working Britons.

He is not able to empathise with poor, hard-working families who graft every day for a pittance.

The middle-class or 'the squeezed middle' is being squeezed until the pips squeeze.

Gloom and doom abounds in this miser's budget. Taxes on booze and tobacco are, of course, to be increased

VAT is to be increased on petrol and has placed a huge burden on families. The cost of filling up a Ford Focus for Mr and Mrs Average has risen by £10.

Events in the Middle East have caused the price of fuel to be raised.

There are no concessions or any good news in the budget and it is the usual load of old bollocks.

Jeers arose in the commons when George Osbourne finished his moronic diatribe.

Neither David Cameron, Nick Clegg or Danny Osbourne were able to make eye contact with those of their rivals across the floor of the House of Commons and looked embarrassed by Osbourne's talk of the fuel 'escalator'. The poor pompous booby was practically incomprehensible to Mr and Mrs Average.

Britain's hard-pressed families are having fuel duty cut by 1p a litre- big deal huh! This is not going to help strained family budgets. There is no help with families with the cost of living and little or no help for enterprise.

The 'Scrooge Budget' is not going to create any jobs or help British families apart from the odd penny being taken off the cost of fuel.

Ed Milliband sneered 'Same old Tories its hurting but not working". He got into his stride and said 'Growth Down, Down Down."

An angry Milliband criticised the Chancellor's budget and said that it had downgraded growth and 'dumbed down' the economy. He said that Osbourne was skiing in France when our economy had been 'slowed down' by the wrong kind of snow; however it was the right kind of snow in Klosters for Osbourne on his skiing holiday!

They Labour party shouted and jeered when they heard that unemployment for the young was at a seventeen year old high - "Same old taxes same old Tories. Unemployment is still a price worth paying."

Living standards are going down. Ed Milliband sneered,"Mr Speaker What kind of planet do these people live on?"

Milliband has said that it is, "the same old hubris and arrogance of the nineties. It is Norman Lamont with an ipod and on his play list there is 'Je ne regrette rien". "It is hurting but it is not working."

There is little hope for Mr and Mrs Average and their average shopping basket of semi skimmed milk, bacon and pasta and the odd chocolate treat. All of the everyday items which hard-pressed families need have all been increased in price but the average pay for Mr and Mrs Average has gone down. The pay has gone down for an average person if they are lucky enough to have a job and not to be on benefits. Mr and Mrs Average do not want to have to stoop to receive tax credits to supplement their cost of living.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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