London - A bout of congenital amnesia has been blamed for Camilla Fucker-Proles forgetting she's still the Colonel's lawfully wedded wife.
Tedious legal bureacracy has seen her overlook the need to divorce the despotic Libyan husband, currently dodging cruise missiles in beleaguered Benghazi.
Last Friday a memory nudge from the Met's royal mobile hacking probe unit saw the whorse-faced old slag admit she's still receiving $$$s matrimonial maintenance checks from Muammar Gaddafi.
As well as annual handouts for personal grooming essentials - such as polishing diamond necklaces donated to by Saudi Arabia's Bin Abdel-Aziz kleptocracy - all of Camilla's gambling debts haqve now been paid off.
Writing to UK Prime Monster David Cameron this morning Ms F-P has pleaded for the Libyan bastard to be lef off the hook and be allowed to return to the security of his birth father's Catacombs.
Meanwhile back in the Vatican Pope Joe Ratzinger has stepped back from actually denying Gaddafi is his very own firstborn, spawned in the Berlin bunker after a wild night of shagging Elizabeth Windsor.
DNA samples notwithstanding the sordid old Pontiff has been heard trying to blag his wqay out of the fast-moving diplomatic row.
Fatima Cheryl Cole Gaddafi is 69.