Long term weather forecasters are casting gloom throughout the nation. Dr Penelope Prance-Major, who has been accurately assessing the weather long term for decades has made her forecast for April 29th, the Wedding Day of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
Rain would have meant that the bridal carriage used by Diana and Sarah Ferguson would have been used. After two such successful royal marriages Kate (or Catherine of Arrogance to her friends) wanted to follow in their footsteps.
A sunny day would have been brilliant for the vast crowds who will flock to London and for the street parties being organised.
However, Dr Penelope has cast a dark shadow over the proceedings. She has forecast hurricane winds and a tidal surge in the Thames with the Thames Barrier being demolished. Floods will sweep up the river and William and Kate will have to swim to Westminster Abbey. Unfortunately the vast crowds will be swimming the other way to escape the waters lapping around their heads.
From this scenario Dr Penelope has been forbidden to elaborate. Plans are afoot for an alternative wedding on Mount Snowdon - to commemorate the happy marriage of Princess Anne and Lord Snowdon.