BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - As Census Day is 'celebrated' in the UK by the filling in of a 750g booklet, Inhopeless was relishing the task.
That is - until all seventeen of his friends came around for tea.
Inhopeless, who was given the duties of filling in the form while his mother, father, and brother go out on 'serious business', was just finishing filling in the details of the household when his friends came in through the front door demanding to be 'censused'.
"Well," said Inhopeless, "there's a box that asks if you have guests staying over during Census Day, and then I have to fill in the details of those guests. All seventeen of them."
When asked by this reporter "why the fuck are you fucking bothering me, you bunch of pretentious pricks", their spokesman said this:
"You see," said John Arnold, "we love Inhopeless so much, we've decided to come round to his for the day. We'd forgotten it was Census Day, of course. We're doing him a favour, see? He helps the government and we get to raid his fridge - win/win for everyone."
After being mercilessly assulted, having spelling errors pointed out, and other nonsense, the 'guests' left, prompting Inhopeless to sigh a breathe of relief.
As of press time, after posting the form, Inhopeless's mother was wondering whether he had 'filled his details in details' as well.