Written by Stella Kordun
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Saturday, 19 March 2011

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Former British Premier, Margaret Thatcher agreed to undergo a sterilisation operation to raise funds for BBC's 'Comic Relief' it was stated last night. The operation, which will take place on Monday afternoon at 4.30pm, will be carried out on Mark Thatcher's birthday to honour his contribution to business, motor sports and public life.

Mrs Thatcher said, that at first, she did have strong misgivings in providing such a charitable act as friends had reminded her that she would not be able to provide again for her subjects, such a "wholesome twosome" as that provided to the world when she had given birth to twins, Mark and Carol. "But", Lady Thatcher insists, "in order to provide aid to deserving causes" her fertility was one thing that would be worthy of such a sacrifice and that she will be wearing the customary 'red nose' throughout the operation.

This move has provoked a wide range of reaction with some stars saying that it is purely a publicity stunt. Jordan, the glamour model, has said that "Mrs Thatcher ought to be ashamed of herself, it's revoltin'. She could just arm herself with furs, like Sarah Palin does and walk down the catwalk. I know that she's a "wrinkly old cow", but it would give her some dignity. I expect that she wants to become PM again."

Joan Collins shouted "Bravo, Lady Thatcher! She is a brilliant woman; a great example to all of Britain, but it is sad that there would be no further offspring from this great woman. Great people need to procreate to provide this country with Supermen, the kind of men that gives my sister such great characters for her novels."

Britain's current Prime Minister, David Cameron, is said to be quite alarmed at the looming operation and has asked Lady Thatcher to reconsider. Some Ministers have taken this to mean that Cameron was planning to employ her in an important role in his cabinet or to put her forward in the coming by election in Leicester South.

The sad thing in all of this, say her many Conservative supporters like Baroness Snoppery, is that "she is demented…oh,.. I mean...suffers from dementia. Only yesterday, she said to me, that she's just "had a baby." "I honestly thought that delirium had overtaken her but she insisted I look at the baby but on searching for the baby and its nanny, no-one could be found. I think that the dear lady belongs in hospital but not to undergo such a traumatic time...please someone, stop her. It just doesn't make sense..."

But Mark Thatcher, who is honoured by Lady Thatcher's action, believes that his mother is showing him the love that she didn't have the time to do as he was growing up. "Mumsy always said that she loved me but she kept on going to the office leaving daddy in charge. But then he was left in charge of the nanny later and what with the gin...Carol and myself didn't know where we were. We frequently felt lost."

It is not known how much would be raised by the charity sterilisation and one wonders if Lady Thatcher has organised the donation of funds. We will keep you posted.

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