A horribly rampant homosexual man from Manchester has shocked friends and family with a gruesome tale of how he had his arsehole cleaned.
Larry Sabu, 20, who claims to have bedded no less than 250 men, says that he awoke last Thursday to a feeling of 'total discomfort', and, after a bout of rabid scratching, decided to visit his local petrol station to give his ringpiece an MOT.
Sabu related how he entered the car wash, lowered his trousers to his ankles, and bent over whilst the high-speed bristles removed all manner of foreign material including cack, spunk, pubic hair, orange peel and other detritus from his anus.
"It was about time I had me nipsy cleaned. It's seen so much action recently, and had become positively filthy. It feels much better now, and I'm ready to go again!"
Petrol station manager Tristram Gobble told us:
"Larry often comes down here to get his bottom washed. Usually we don't mind, but today we had a forecourt full of motorists, which wasn't ideal."
One motorist whose windscreen was spattered with spunk, said:
"I saw this fellow standing with his arse in the brushes and realised it wasn't going to be my day."
"It looked like a hell of a ride!"