Written by mattymc13
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Topics: Star Wars, Charity

Thursday, 17 March 2011

image for Charity Shop in Star Wars cock-up
Star Wars fan clubs rally together to have charity shop worker sent to Death Star

A UK based charity shop has lost out on a fortune after it mistook a Star Wars relic for a tramp's blanket.

The item in question was Obi Wan Kenobi's cloak, as worn by Alec Guinness in the Star Wars original film in 1977.

The employee in charge of the Barnet, North London based shop on that particular morning was Rita James - an 87 year old volunteer from the local area.

She explained, "normally when I arrive on Friday morning, there is shit piled high on the doorstep that muggins here has to rummage through. But on that particular day there was just an old rag that stank of piss and fags."

Rita has no reason to suspect it was anything valuable, and threw it straight into the trash. What she didn't realise was a local loser with no life (who must remain anonymous) had recognised the cloak from the previous evening when he watched Star Wars: A New Hope for the seven hundredth time. He immediately went around the back of the shop and started sifting through the bins. We caught up with him after he had made the sale at Sotherby's, where it had been bought for eight hundred thousand pounds.

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her taking it out to the bin. She had a great big handful of history there, and she was treating it like a bit of filth. As soon as I lept into the bin I could recognise that smell - piss and alcohol. It was Alec Guinness's robe alright."

The big question that is still on everyone's mind is...just how did the robe get there in the first place? Nobody seems to know, but our anonymous loser has his own theory.

"I know this may sound a bit crazy to you, right? But...I'm convinced it was The Force."

Rita was later relieved from her position after a second, even costlier mistake, when KITT from the original Knight Rider series was left outside the shop, and she called the council to have it crushed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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