Written by Mark Devore
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Topics: Banks, Monkey

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Escaped Monkeys have been running bank for last year

It has been revealed that a troop of escaped monkeys have been running a branch of Santander bank for the last year.

It all came to light when a customer from Leeds was sent a bunch of banana's in the post instead of her bank card. When she called to complain she was greeted by the chants of grunting primates. When she eventually got over her issues to them they proceded to send her a lovely bunch of coconuts and an empty Snickers wrapper the next day.

A spokesmonkey for the bank commented

"Muwahahahahah! Mah Mah Mah Muwahahahhaha! Ugh Ugh Ugh"

When the customer visited the branch a female chimp told her to put it into writing.

"I just couldn't believe it!! At first I thought she looked a little odd but then she did have a lot of makeup on. I'm not one to judge!"

Zookeepers arrived at the branch and proceeded to load the giddy primates up into trucks and replaced the staff with humans.

The customer is still awaiting her debit cards!!

A spokesperson said they are busy translating the records from Chimp to English, and any query may take some time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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