Written by j.w.
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Topics: Japan

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Meltdown Disaster in Japan
Melted Ice Cream Condemned

Japan is in crisis because Ice Creams have begun melting too quickly. This catastrophe was blamed on the weather by ice cream researcher Yama Hami, who explained that high winds could upset the internal gravity of Ice Cream causing it to melt more rapidly than expected.

Angry parents with children covered in melting Ice Cream could be seen all over Tokyo and medical staff were checking on how many contaminated Ice Creams the children had eaten.

'We went out for the day' said a Japanese Mum with two sobbing children 'bought ice creams and they melted all over the children's clothes. It is not good enough. This has happened before and I would have expected this problem should have been solved by now.'

Ice Creamologist Prof Calm Nerves, speaking from Geneva, sought to calm fears over the melting ice cream. 'All the mother's have to do is wash their children's clothes. The extra sticky ice cream will wash off after several hours of washing. However everyone should be careful not to touch the substance as it could cause blisters and hands may drop off unexpectedly.'

Prof Nerves words were broadcast throughout Japan but no one believed him. 'We have heard all this before' said one Mum 'but Ice Creamologists disagree with each other.' Dr Gween Peas said that we should stop eating ice cream and turn to safer means of keeping children happy. One example was water, but this had to have been properly cooled or it could lead to teeth falling out.'

The Japanese Stock Exchange fell to the floor and when mixed with the melting ice cream caused a run on the Banks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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