The Royal Institute of General Medical Science, noted for their study of Genes and DNA, said the upcoming wedding of Prince William will provide the setting for the largest gathering in history of mutant strains of human DNA.
The Prince will marry Kate Middleton on April 29th in Westminster Cathedral, and science professionals from around the world are said to be scurrying to London to assure they get a prime spot in the queue outside the historic church to photograph for later study reigning Royalty from around the world.
"This will be the biggest collection of mutants ever congregated in one place, " said Professor Godfrey Goodfellow, PhD, who is a tenured lecturer at the University of California, Berkeley, "what an opportunity to be able to study some of these abnormalities in my life time. I'll have enough material to lecture till I retire!"
Professor Goodfellow, a banal buck toothed fellow in his mid fifties, with thinning hair, a sallow complexion and wearing a polyester Nehru suit with epaulettes, said it will be hard to make note of all the physical abnormalities on display.
Amongst the highlights he'll be noting:
Big Ears, premature balding, sunken chins, unkempt eyebrows, pigeon toes, knock knees, sagging derrieres,receding foreheads, horse like teeth, lisping, stuttering, malapropisms, and the ability to talk to trees and plants; just a few abnormalities proving how inherited genes, thinning of the blood, and incest have diluted Royal DNA over the centuries.
Goodfellow went on to speculate about the future. "Goodness! Can you imagine the results nine months from now after all these Royals get together for a weekend in the Country Pile and bump into each other during the night trying to find the bedpan down the hall! The results could be startling, and the beginning of a whole new strain of Royals!"
One reporter on the scene was heard to Mudder, "…jist another Royal Arse Mess, if you ax me. Bastards!"
Pope Benedict XVI issued a statement on the subject from the Vatican continuing to urge Abstinence by declaring 'just say NO' later clarifying the edict by adding "the world would be a better place if we'd just let boys be boys and stop trying to have it both ways!"