Written by St Patrick

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Topics: Local, Ireland

Monday, 14 March 2011

image for Man Wont let anyone else Sit next to the Window

A 68-year old man has occupied the seat next to the window every time he has made a journey for the the past 60 years.

Michael Marzipan, a retired fluffer in the thriving Irish porn industry, says he doesn't care if he's perceived as a 'fucking miserable old git' and a 'window hogger'.

Michael has travelled widely and each time has a perfect view - on one side at least.

"I went to Mount Kilimanjaro a few years back", he said, "bloody marvellous it was. Went by boat up a mountain.

"Sat right next to the window on the starboard side. Saw a man die from a fall. Broke his head in two. One half kept on laughjing and joking while the other was screaming 'Mammy! Mammy!".

Two summers ago he went to outer space.

"That was an interesting trip, it was. Won it by collecting coupons on the backs of packets of rashers. Went to the Moon and back...and made sure to get the best window seat", he remembers.

Michael's fascination with window seats began when he went on his honeymoon back in 1968.

"We went to Egypt. Travelled around the place on a camel that had windows in it. Very swanky it was. Lovely breeze came in when I slid back the window. Camels are very smelly animals. And they spit. But they taste lovely."

Michael was recently diagnosed as being a liar.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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