Written by grimbo
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Tuesday, 15 March 2011

image for Police's "Cunning Plan" For Student Protests

Papers obtained under the Freedom of Information Act have revealed that the Metropolitan Police believed it had a "cunning plan" to deal with the student protests over tuition fees last year.

The unnamed author of the documents advised that, if the proposal was followed properly, he was sure that "everything would go off without a hitch".

The main thrust of the strategy was to set up a number of "rest break cafes" on all the main routes leading into Westminster where the protesters would be encouraged to sit down and read the latest editions of the Guardian and Independent and would be provided with small joints of marijuana.

The idea was that, after half an hour or so, the students' ire would have disappeared in a haze of apathy and lethargy.

For those protesters who were not so amenable to illicit substances, there would be other rest stops where they would be offered half pints of lager shandy and encouraged to compose articles for Private Eye.

Unfortunately, the strategy was doomed to failure as none of the sidewalk centres offered free wi fi.

The rest, as they say, is history.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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