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Sunday, 13 March 2011

image for Isle of Wight to be split in two
heads or tails Nick, which seat would you prefer

The Parliamentary Voting and Constituencies Bill has now received Royal Assent and as a result, the Isle of Wight will have two constituencies instead of one.

The Electoral Commission will now decide on which basis the island will be split. Previous attempts to split the island have been met with fierce opposition by islanders. Each constituency will have an electorate of 50,000 or so.

It is believed that some islanders may approach the European Union as they feel that their Human Rights may have been breached. These islanders believe that the island should be a special region within Europe.

They want to make a bid to Europe for the finance required to construct their tram or road link to Hampshire, on the mainland. If they are granted "special status" by the EC , they will issue passports to bona fide islanders! This will prevent British immigrants swamping the island.

Prince Andrew is being lined up as sovereign of the isle.

Their Conservative MP, Andrew Turner, is in favour of the two constituency set up.

It is believed that David Cameron has earmarked the second constituency for his present Deputy Prime Minister and soon to be Tory, Nick Clegg, because no other constituency will elect him.

You have been Clegged, Isle of Wight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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