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Topics: Isle of Wight

Saturday, 12 March 2011

image for Isle of Wight News - Political Unrest Explodes Across Island
Residents Triumph over Government Officials

Ventnor - Public sentiment against David Pugh's Inaction Plan and possible implementation of government restraint measures has reached a fever pitch across the island with public skirmishes and demonstrations of show of force against the government taking place in most major cities outside of the capital Newport which remains firmly in government control.

Rebel leader Marjorie Stevens, seventy-seven of 2 Bettworth Crescent, announced "It's high time elected councilmen looked to see which side their bread is buttered on."

So far rebels have limited their actions against the government to board game challenges of scrabble and checkers in community centres and libraries across the island.

Fresh off a triple-word score against vehicle licensing agent Norm Sadler, Fred Stipe of Wooton Bridge says "It's time to raise the stakes to double or nothing vis-a-vis rights of the everyday common person on the island once and for all."

"Let's see who has the greater word power now, us or those overpaid scallywags who are hell bent on cutting back our essential services."

In Ryde tempers flared in a well played game of checkers between property assessor Bob Fuller and shop keeper Mitch Peeler that escalated into a violent game of crokinile with playing pieces flying around the room after a flagrant violation of the one-cheek rule by Fuller.

Outraged, the hot tempered Peeler let go a relentless barrage of wooden disks towards Fuller and all other directions injuring a spectator who had to be hospitalized for a minor head wound. Fuller was overcome by the sudden attack and is now being held as a prisoner of war in the cellar of Peeler's shop.

The victorious Peeler crowed unrepentantly "Together as a group we stand united and know that we are more superior at board game challenges than our elected officials could ever hope to be."

"David Pugh can hide in Newport for only so long before he has to come to the table over a right proper game of Scrabble and show us what he is made of."

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