Fire Engines were last night called to a small German pub to help put out a fire caused by a large explosion that originated from their Beer Garden.
The explosion was believed to have come from a fireworks display gone wrong. It was said to have been held in honour of the legendery poet, musician and actor, Pete Doherty, who was celebrating his Birthday on the premisis. But the Poet said he hadn't asked for the pyrotechnic display and did not know the man who produced the fireworks.
The fireworks maniac is said to have appeared from nowhere wearing a suicide bomber type belt full of fireworks. He said "I love you Pete" and then proceded to light all of his fireworks one by one.
This mad man was later identified as an inventor called Mr Bang, who has recently invented a number of supposedly safe, but dangerous looking, ways to light a firework and this was apparently his best invention ever.
Pete is said to have been bemused by the whole affair and left the scene of the incident shortly after the fireworks began. So he wasn't there when one of the fireworks accidentally went astray and blew up the entire pub.
The fire was, however, quickly extinguished and everyone congratulated Mr Bang on a job well done. He'd brought entertainment to a sleepy pub on a dull night.
The fireworks inventor apologised for any inconvenience and said he would pay for any damage done. He also said he has suddenly come into money so he will be able to build a brand new pub where the old one stood. But only after he had been to the Bureau de Change. This is because his new money is from Colonel Gaddafi who also uses his expertise in explosives for non-entertainment related purposes.
The Firework Display Suicide belt looks like it is going to be a big hit on the internet. Orders are already beginning to flow in by the million. So, it looks like next year's Bonfire Night is going to go with a bang, too, all curtesy of Mr Bang, The Pyrotechnical expert.
By Katarina Frogpond.