Written by Deafo
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Topics: Lady Gaga, Heathrow

Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Terminal 5 suspect package belonged to Lady Gaga

The examination of a suspect package that temporarily closed a section of Terminal 5 is rumoured to have belonged to pop diva Lady Gaga.

A spokesman confirmed the incident saying they were aware of the allegation that the pop biscuit may have been packing an undisclosed item of luggage and sought to clarify the situation with a hugely invasive frisk at customs.

He told reporters, 'Yeah, we've all seen the pictures that would appear to indicate an additional member to her entourage and felt it was necessary to have a good look at what was going on down there prior to letting her board one of our planes.'

'Of course, we were a little shocked to discover what we did.'

'We immediately cordoned off an area of Terminal 5 so the rest of the security team could come and have a good gawp.'

'It was like the end scene in ET where all the tents are rolled out, but to be frank, to find out Gaga had an extra bow to cater for during her solo routines was slightly less surprising then finding intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe.'

A spokesperson for the uni-horned songstress refused to confirm or deny she was over packaged when attempting to board her flight.

'She had taken great care to ensure she did not breach any of the airports regulations in terms of luggage and felt that examining her penis to such an extent should have at least qualified her for some free air miles.'

'Or a blow job.'

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