Written by IainB
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Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Derek Acorah "Disappointed" with results of The Sun's Psychic Experiment
The Eye stayed perfectly still

Derek Acorah, the world's foremost conduit to the realm of the other side, is disappointed with the results of his Sensational Psychic Experiment in The Sun newspaper.

After requesting as many Sun readers as possible to attempt to channel their psychic energy through him to move the London Eye, it transpired that insufficient people took him seriously, and the Eye remained unmoving. Additionally, in the Live Contact of the Departed conducted on The Sun's website, Acorah was unable to contact a single spirit for any of the two dozen people that joined in, nor did any of the Sun readers get messages from the other side, despite Acorah's best efforts to open the channels to the dead as wide as possible.

There was more success with the remote viewing experiment. Out of the fifteen hundred people who took part, thirty correctly saw the card hidden in a vault in the Mayfair branch of Lloyds TSB.

"I feel that there were not enough people taking it seriously," said Acorah afterwards. "Although thirty people showed promise in correctly guessing the card, which is better than sheer chance alone."

James Randi, sceptic and nemesis of all paranormal paraphernalia, was quite pleased with the whole experiment.

"As I predicted," he said, smugly, "There was no evidence of contacting the dead, no telekinesis, and thirty people out of fifteen hundred is only one more person than the twenty-nine predicted by probability, and therefore well within the bounds of probability."

Acorah has a different take on Randi's viewpoint.

"With predictive powers like his," said Acorah. "Perhaps James Randi is psychic and can see the future and he doesn't realise it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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