Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Thursday, 10 March 2011

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Dumfries.

Police are appealing for information about a naked man seen driving his car in Dumfries, Scotland, twice in a matter of days.

On both occasions the man has been seen to get out of the car and go to the rear of the vehicle before getting back behind the wheel and driving off.

The first incident happened at around 10.30am last Wednesday. The second was on Sunday when he stopped near a woman at about 9.30am.

"It's been bloody freezing lately," said a police spokesman. "He has to be hard as nails.

"We'd like to meet him - he could really help with survival training and that. And, not to put too fine a point on it... how does he keep his bits from doing the disappearing act that most of us suffer in the cold?

"Amazing."

Apparently the woman who saw him did not bother to look at him all over, so was unable to give a description.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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