Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for Susan Boyle To Meet Holy Glow in the Dark Nuns
Holy Water Soon Available From Dounraey.

Susan Boyle has expressed an interest in meeting the Glow in the Dark Nuns of Dounraey.

The Pope has only just recently revealed their existence and since then they have become an instant hit. They have become so popular that the Vatican has started taking bookings for coach trips.

Susan was so excited when she heard they were going to open up their nunnery to visitors that she booked herself and her friends on the first bus to Dounraey.

The Holy Nuns were put on the map during last year's Papal visit to Scotland. The Pope wanted to see if they really did glow in the dark for himself. He believed that if they did glow, then that would be the first proven miracle of the 21st Century. And a proven miracle would be just the thing needed to lift the spirits of Catholics all over the world in these dark times of disbelief.

The Glow in the Dark Nuns have faced a lot of criticism, though. Some people (mostly nuclear physicists) are saying that it is highly unlikely that the nuns are illuminated with the power of the Holy Spirit. They have suggested that they are more more likely to be shining with another source of Renewable energy. Probably Nuclear Power.

But the nuns and the Vatican are denying this. They say that the nuns are a real miracle who are glowing to show that God has not forgotten his people on earth. They think Susan is also a miracle and her visit will improve tourist figures to the area by millions.

The Vatican are so pleased with Susan's visit that they have told her to expect a special treat of cakes and biscuits and quite possibly...a holy miracle.

This miracle happens every day just as darkness is falling. One of the nuns holds the light bulb in her hand and says "Behold the holy light bulb. It glows" And it does. This happens apparently because the nuns are so full of holiness they can light up a light bulb just by holding it. Its all good fun, and souvenirs can be taken away too.

The best souvenir is going to be available next month when the nuns are hoping to start selling the Holy Water that made the miracle possible. It comes from a Spring just next to (but not attached to) the Nuclear Power Station. This makes it perfectly safe to drink say the nuns. The Pope agrees (so long as he get his 40% cut)

By Katarina Frogpond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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