Written by St Patrick
Print this
Topics: Ireland

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for Leo Varadkar Made 'Minister for Turnips' in New Irish Government

Turnip-faced politician Leo Varadkar has been anointed 'Minister for Turnips' in the new Fine Gael/Labour coalition government.

The arrogant vegetable-featured character said he was delighted to be representing such a 'tasteless and disgusting vegetable'.

"All my life has been leading up to this moment in time. With a face like mine I was born for this role", he repeated ad nauseum to anybody who was bothered listening - especially The Irish Daily Mail.

Other ministers announced in the new cabinet include:

- Fine Gael's Richard Bruton as 'Minister For Giggling';

- Phil Hogan got 'Minister for Pompousness, Goebels-like Behaviour and being very Tall';

- Labour's Joan Burton as 'Minister For Bald Spots and Wrinkled Faces';

- Brendan Howlin of Labour was made 'Minister For Little People'.

Losers include Roisin Shorthall of Labour who really, really wanted to be made 'Minister for Looking Like a Piranha'.

She was put back in the fish tank and told to keep quiet.

Fine Gael's Brian Hayes was told he must work on controlling his facial muscles before he ever gets a chance to become 'Junior Minister for Not Pulling Stupid Faces in Interviews'.

Make St Patrick's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

2 20 9 17
49 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more