Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Kate Middleton Shocker: She Confides To A Close Friend That She Is Now Having Second Thoughts About The Royal Wedding
Queen Elizabeth has stated that she likes Kate Middleton but says she needs to work a little more on her 'Curtseying.'

LONDON - In a stunningly unbelievable revelation that could possibly have world wide repercussions Kate Middleton, the fiancee of Prince William has confided to an extremely close friend that she is beginning to have second thoughts about getting married to Queen Elizabeth's grandson Prince William.

Ta Ta For Now News is reporting that the unnamed close friend, who is believed to be either Winnie Figgyfurst, 36, or Babka Milquetoast, 42, said that just within the past three days Kate "The Great" as her friends call her, has turned into a basketball-sized bundle of nerves.

The unnamed friend said that just last night at dinner she saw Kate biting down on her fingernails so hard that they actually started bleeding and got all over her dinner of fish and chips.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I made some phone calls to some highly influential British individuals and asked them if they thought that the friend who is making these statements is Winnie or Babka. Of the nine people I asked seven stated that they felt that it is Winnie and only two felt that the unnamed close friend was Babka. So for the remainder of the article we will go with Winnie Figgyfurst as being the close friend who is providing the behind-the-scenes information.]

Miss Figgyfurst, who is divorced from ex-Manchester United Red Devil Napoleon "Kicky Feet" Vichyssoise, reportedly feels that the Queen is such a perfectionist that if she (Kate) were to say, burn the crumpets, that the Queen Mother would yell and scream at her as she did with Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York on countless occasions.

Middleton also heard that the Queen had once turned to her son Prince Charles's wife Camilla during a state dinner for the president of Upper Shambutu, and asked her why it was that she had only shaved one leg.

Needless to say poor Camilla turned three shades of pink. Suddenly President Kumba Tinpura of Upper Shambutu walked up to Camilla and thanked her for honoring him.

He explained to everyone present that in his country it is considered an honor for a woman, who is in the presense of the country's president, to only shave one leg, signifying that she realizes that she is not as perfect as he is.

President Tinpura turned to Queen Elizabeth and said that of all of the women at the Buckingham Palace State Dinner, including her Royal Highness, that only Camilla had graciously honored him by only shaving one leg.

The Queen nervously stood up and excused herself saying that she had to go to the bathroom and take a pill for her tonsil infection.

Ta Ta For Now News will keep abreast of any further thoughts that Kate Middleton may develop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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