Written by Stella Kordun
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Topics: Sarah Ferguson

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Sarah Ferguson has aroused the anger and contempt of the British speaking public last night, it was announced. Her jet-setting, celebrity loving lifestyle, despite running up £5 million in debt, was denounced as pure 'in-yer-face disgrace'.

People from Biggin Hill have mobilised and started to form a 'Hate Group' called 'We hate Sarah Ferguson.' Its Chairwoman, Luna Maury claims, "The historical significance of our town, I hope, is not lost on Ms Ferguson and those of her elk..I mean ilk".

The group and its sympathisers all across the UK, cite her behaviour as the root cause of the formation of the group. Maya Lansbury, a senior member of the group, indicated that "In these times of recession and government spending cuts, I think that its high time that Ms Ferguson was outlawed. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if she herself didn't single handedly cause the recession."

Miss Maury says, "Her extravagance knows no bounds. Apparently, somebody has helped her lower her debts and her moral standing (with which little she already did have) but what does she now go on to do? Put it towards the debt? No. Put away for a rainy day? No. She's celebrating with an exclusive shopping trip in the Caribbean followed by an extravagant skiing holiday."

She boards planes like they are buses or mini-cabs and though she has reduced her bills from nearly £5million to just £100,000, if she did pay up, the government need not make so many cuts in its budget. "I mean", states Miss Lansbury, "just six months before that she was covertly filmed accepting £27,000 in return for access to dear Andrew who wouldn't do a thing to hurt a fly. A decent chap all round. I wouldn't be surprised if she made her invisible millions lying on her...oh....well........nobody paid, did they?"

Miss Lansbury moved quickly away, blushing and I enquired to Miss Maury if any additional spokespeople from her group might be available but at the time of press no-one was available for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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