Ex Prime Minister Tony Blair, is today facing the courts in what has become known as 'Apegate.'
The ageing politician has been charged with breaking into an ape enclosure in London Zoo and attempting to fornicate with an unlucky (or lucky?) Gorilla.
Blair claims that he had mistaken the ape for his somewhat weather beaten wife Cherie Blair.
While visiting the Zoo the ex PM left his spectacles in the centre console of his Robin Reliant which resulted in Mr Blair and his wife somehow becoming parted from each other. While passing the Ape enclosure, Mr Blair claims that he was convinced his silver backed lover Cherie had somehow entered the enclosure and couldn't get back out.
Mr Blair stated,
'I passed the enclosure and swore i saw Cherie beating the window to get out. I even shouted "Is that you Cherie! My god I'm coming to get you, don't move!"
'The ape in question even sounded like Cherie, replying, "urghh aaaaa ooooo ooowww."
'Anyone who has ever heard Cherie and myself getting ready to make love, will know that this is her usual bellow for "come and get me Big Tony."'
Mr Blair proceeded to tell the Jury how he then entered the enclosure and began to fornicate with what he thought was his wife Cherie. He continued by saying that through the slight blur caused by the lack of spectacles, the longing stare of the ape looked exactly like the longing stare of Cherie.
It was only when Mr Blair discovered his new lover was actually a male, did he become slightly suspicious.
The court case continues tomorrow where photographic stills of Cherie and the Ape in question will be compared. Insiders say that Blair will be acquitted as the similarities between Cherie and the ape are unmistakable.