Written by st6phen
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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for Irate Northern Irish Farmers begin 'sports boots' protest
One of the sheep used for the 'endurance' sport.

A group of Irate Northern Irish farmers have taken to the streets in protest over the declining quality of the rubber used in their 'wellington boots.'

The farmers have recently become bemused with the consistency of the rubber and its subsequent effectiveness for what is known in the province as 'endurance sheep riding.' This underground sport is widely popular amongst farmers in the area, however with the current recession the participants feel the materials being used in their 'sports' attire is somewhat lacking.

One of the farmers, who wished to remain nameless, described how this issue was beginning to ruin his pastime - he said,

'I've been endurance sheep riding for 5 years. I am usually able to throw the sheep's back legs down the front of my wellies and the consistency of the rubber in the boots means the woolly little feckers can't escape, the boots I used to have were like a spiders web, I could ride that wooly thing for hours, she couldn't escape...'

The farmers have threatened to meet at Belfast City Hall in a mass boot burning protest if they do not get a satisfactory resolution from the manufacturers.

These farmers love their boots and love endurance sheep riding, and will go to great lengths to maintain their sport - it is advisable to avoid the sheep riding activists at all costs as it is rumoured that homemade explosives could be placed inside some of the rogue boots at potential protest flashpoints.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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