Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for Derek Acorah helps The Sun perform the largest psychic experiment ever
Will it to move

The People's Psychic, Derek Acorah has teamed up with The Sun newspaper to attempt to show the country that psychic phenomena is real and all around us.

"We are going to be doing a few psychic experiments," said Acorah. "We will be gathering all of the psychic energy of Sun readers to perform experiments such as remote viewing, contacting the dead and making the London Eye revolve."

Critic of the Psychic Superstar, and psychic nonbeliever, James Randi is sceptical. "These mass experiments show nothing," he said. "If I asked two million people the name of the card I was hiding in a locked vault, I'm pretty confident that about thirty-eight thousand people would get it right."

Randi does concede that if a significant number of people above one fifty-second can guess the card that would be impressive. "It would still need to be about half a million people guessing correctly," said Randi. "Anything above this is an indication of some kind of cheating. I would probably use subliminal messages in the rest of the paper."

Randi believes that it is easy to tell if somebody is psychic: "They're not." he said. "Besides, this is Sun readers we're talking about. I doubt their collective psychic energy could generate enough electricity for a ten watt energy saving bulb."

As well as remote viewing, Acorah is hoping that the dead will be able to contact their loved ones and the collective psychic energy of the population can help him move the London Eye with just his mind.

"I'm confident that the more open minded Sun readers will be able to channel their energy through me," said Acorah. "And if that fails they may give me enough oomph to see what tonight's lottery numbers are, then I won't have to work anymore."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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