Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

image for Queen orders No-Fly Zone around Prince Andrew's trouser zippers
No flies on me, says feckless tosser Andy

London - The Duke of York has had to cancel a 'Big Bang: UK Young Scientists Fair' trip this Friday over 'unfortunate connotations'.

The Max Mosley-lookalike freeloader has been told he'll have to keep those adolf-esecent Big Bang theories to himself until the dust settles.

A pervy transatlantic paedo-saga has seen HM ban Heirmiles Andy from pursuing perfectly natural youthful escapades.

"This means the cancellation of Friday's Young Einsteins reception," the Palace's Lord Luce-Cannon announced today.

"The Queen's had to impose a No-Fly zone around the Prince's trouser zippers."

Week-long reports of more lurid teenage sex scandals around Heirmiles Andy forced HM's hand, courtiers confirmed.

The last straw came today amid reports he may have fathered a 'Gypsy' woman dubbed the world's youngest grandmother, 23.

"No flies on me!" Romania-born Rifca Stanescu said today.

Her 12 year old daughter Vladimira is now 37th in line to the Throne.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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