Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

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Famous international astrologer, Morning Starshine claims that she recently created a love chart for Kate Middleton and Prince William to determine just how successful their marriage will be if they marry as planned on Friday, April 29, 2011.

According to Starshine, this date is simply too late for the marriage to work.

"While one can never be sure that any marriage is destined for success or failure, I do believe that if the royal couple follows my prediction, they quite possibly will have a long and prosperous marriage with many children."

According to the charts Starshine created, Venus, Mercury, Mars and Jupiter are expected to form a perfect line in the morning sky on April 20, 2011, setting the stage for the most romantic period of the entire year.

For that reason, says Starshine, Kate and Wills must set their wedding day for early morning on April 20. Morning was also quite adamant that the royal couple say their vows at precisely 4:28 a.m. for the marriage to have any chance of success.

"I understand how complicated this can make things what with guest lists and all, not to mention a breakfast menu as opposed to a formal sit-down dinner affair," said Starshine, "but believe me when I say that not only will this be an optimal time to marry, but it will cut down immensely on costs as most guests won't want to imbibe that early in the morning. Champage costs alone will be cut in half."

While the couple is not taking the suggestion seriously, they may be doing so to their detriment as this particular astrologer knows her business. She is credited with predicting the successful unions of such celebrities as Denzel Washington to his wife Paulette (27 years), Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith (13 years) and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver (26 years), although with Schwarzenegger, Starshine wasn't so sure.

"He was iffy," she said, "but Maria took my advice and married on April 26, under exactly the same circumstances I am suggesting for the royal couple, and they are still happily married today."

Starshine added one more thing to try and convince the couple of her expertise, "When the moon is in the 7th house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars…then love will steer the stars." And with that, she was off to her next appointment to prepare a chart for Charlie Sheen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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