Written by grimbo
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

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Foreign Secretary William Hague, already under fire after the botched diplomatic mission to Libya, is facing increased pressure to resign after it emerged that he received backing from Colonel Gaddafi only 2 weeks before civil unrest hit the oil rich nation.

Hague's press secretary Justin Thumblewaite confirmed that "On February 6 this year, Mr Hague contacted the Libyan leader Muammar al-Gaddafi as he had been experiencing significant problems with the berber carpet he recently had fitted in the lounge of his Westminster home.

As he recalled from a previous conversation with Colonel Gaddafi that the latter had a number of contacts in the berber carpet business, he asked if the Libyan leader could recommend a suitable contractor to iron out the wrinkles that were starting to appear in said carpet.

The next evening when the Foreign Secretary returned home after a debate in the Commons, he found that the hitherto problematic berber was now as flat as the proverbial billiard table, thanks to the delivery and fitting of a roll of the finest froth foam carpet backing beneath it.

The only clue to the identity of the benefactor was a note on the telephone table that read 'Hope this helps. God is Good. MAG'.

Mr Hague mistakenly assumed that the source of his good fortune was an old friend from his school days at Ripon Grammar, one Martin Ambleforth-Gainesborough, whom the Foreign Secretary had bumped into only last year and whom he recalled telling him was now employed in Harrod's furnishings department.

Mr Hague had no inkling that the Libyan King of Kings had anything to do with the grande geste.

The offending carpet material has since been removed and confined to the skip".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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