Written by j.w.
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Topics: David Cameron

Monday, 7 March 2011

image for Cameron Wins Three Stars ***
Epstein's Reclining Nude

It is not often that a Prime Minister earns three stars in one week but David Cameron has achieved this with a little help from his friends.

In response to the PM's urgent appeal to Banks not to pay too much in bonuses, the Barclays boss has limited his annual Bonus to £33 million.

Following this lead Cameron approved a brilliant scheme by William Hague to infiltrate the SAS into rebel territory in Libya. Arriving armed and unannounced in the middle of the night in a helicopter gave the mission a certain flare.

Then the PM's pal Prince Andrew the Duke of York, enjoyed Cameron's complete confidence after being in the company of the brilliant sculptor Jacob Epstein. 'It shows what a cultured fellow the Prince is' murmured Cameron whilst admiring Epstein's 'Young nude reclining'.

However the word is that Cameron has not really earned his three stars. It has been calculated that the £33 million Barclays Bank Bonus is not a reduction on the level of these bonuses but a massive increase.

The brilliant SAS scheme was not approved by the PM but by his Foreign Scretary, William Hague, who forgot to ask Cameron for his opinion over the exercise.

Finally the Epstein Prince Andrew knew was not Epstein the sculptor but the sex offender Epstein and his reclining nude was under age and parts of her were rather prominent.

Scout Leader Prince Philip is considering whether Cameron's three stars should be taken away as they may have been incorrectly awarded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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