Written by Charpa93
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Monday, 7 March 2011

image for London Underground Gives Away Free Tube Socks to Riders
Tube Sock Giveaway Starts Monday

In an effort to boost ridership, the London Underground today announced plans to begin immediately giving out free tube socks to its patrons. Teaming with London merchant, Harrods, the socks will carry the London Underground logo in red and blue on a white sock. The tube socks were designed exclusively for this promotion and can't be found for sale anywhere in London.

"'Ooever come up wit the idea ter 'and out tube socks ter Tube riders were a right genius," said Barnaby Fluttercock, one rider who eagerly waited in line for his free pair of socks, init? "This saves the missus from 'avin' ter go round ter the bloody surplus store and buy me a couple pair. I'll be sendin' 'er over 'ere tomorrow ter get anuvver pair for me. That should keep me set for the bleedin' year."

While some riders agreed with Fluttercock and saw the sock handout as a great idea, many others were a bit skeptical of the free tube socks.

"They're just tryin' ter buy us off," said Hermoine Smithfield, right, an 86-year old great grandmother from Camden. "For years we been complainin' about 'ow the bloody Tube was in terrible need of repairs and now, right, 'ave a look. We 'ave 2012 Olympic games comin' ter tahn and all of a sudden they want ter fix wot's broken in a year.

"And," she continued, "I got me a china that lives on Baker Street. I 'ear work on the chuffin' Bakerloo line won't be finished until 2020. Yer fink a pair of socks is gonna keep them folks along the Bakerloo line 'appy?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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