Written by j.w.
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Topics: Farting, Dentists

Friday, 4 March 2011

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Stilton's Controversial Backside

Matthew Stilton, known as 'the farting dentist' because of his disturbing flatulence has been banned from his practice because of 'inappropriate behaviour'..

A colleague complained that he was giving patients 'the wrong sort of gas' and it made them sick. His assistant Valerie Sniff regularly fell ill and Walton found himself alone with his victims.

Walton was also known for his swearing saying such things as 'move your bloody arse' to elderly patients who came too slowly into his surgery.

Stilton claimed his flatulence was 'inadvertent', he just couldn't stop the blasts that left his rear. Medicine to stop the unwanted farts was useless and advice from Doctors was that he should be more careful with his diet. His ex-wife complained that all he would eat was hot Vinderloo which only resulted in visits to the family loo.

His children left with his mother as whenever a match was struck in the house a small explosion occurred.

Stilton is going to the European Court of Human Rights complaining that being banned because of emitting wind from his anus was unfair discrimination. 'I cannot help it' he told me from a safe distance 'generating gas from ones alimentary canal is quite normal.'

However, the practice from which Stilton is banned is ready to defy Europe. They are suggesting that Stilton should become a prison dentist where people cannot grumble about 'inappropriate behaviour'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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