Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 4 March 2011

image for London's "Big Ben" Clock Suddenly Stops Ticking
'Big Ben' visitors are currently having to rely on their watches for the time. (Photo courtesy of Ta Ta For Now News)

LONDON - Several of the city's top jewelers are extremely puzzled as to why Big Ben has suddenly stopped ticking.

Wainwright Ruskinbridger, one of London's best jewelers checked out the clock and said that he was not able to figure out why it stopped ticking.

He said that he has state-of-the-art electronic tools and gadgetry that he purchased on a recent trip to Osaka, Japan, but he is still quite puzzled.

A homeless man who has been working the area around Big Ben suggested that maybe the fact that the bloody bloomin clock is 151 years old just might have something to do with it.

Ruskinbridger asked the clock tower caretaker identified as Offty Funtington, IV, if he knew where the clock's purchase receipt was kept. Funtington looked at him and asked, "Ah what did ja say mate?"

Ruskinbridger asked again.

Funtington giggled so hard he had to spit out a piece of the mince crumpet he was eating. He shook his head and said that he would have to go check because the last time he had seen it, it was sitting underneath Robin Hood's address book in one of the storage rooms.

Ta Ta For Now News is reporting that Queen Elizabeth has demanded that the clock be fixed before the Royal Wedding or someone is going to be exiled to Argentina.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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