Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Drugs, Smoking, NHS

Friday, 4 March 2011

image for New mothers swap booze and cigarette vouchers for cannabis
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London - Pregnant women on DSS handouts have used NHS cigarette and alcohol vouchers for medicinal skunk.

Last year half a million new and almost-mothers were given some £300 per annum in coupons to spend in local corner shops.

Instead most of them swapped the weekly benefit for twenty quid bags of best homegrown.

While this supported the indigenous economy concern was raised at the levels of taxpayer funded handouts ending up in local rastas' wallets.

The benefits were introduced by the former government and were meant to replace a scheme going back to the Second World War which provided only free meths - er....milk!

A Government survey of more than 10,000 dealers found that more than one in five were too stoned to complete the questionnaire, man.

A new poll will now assess whether to slap a hefty tax on the polythene snappy-bags that most ganja deals come in.

Few women over 50 ever get pregnant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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