Written by IainB
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Friday, 4 March 2011

image for Prince Philip caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress
Kate is distraught

Greek xenophobe Phil "Duke of Edinburgh" Windsor has been caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress by a maid at Windsor Castle.

Tillie Mint entered the private chambers of the Queen and Prince yesterday to find Prince Philip parading around the room swirling Kate Middleton's dress and squeaking "I will be queen!" every time he passed a mirror.

"I was very shocked," admitted Mint. "I hadn't expected the dress to look like that."

Apparently, this is not the first time that Tillie has come across the Greek parading around in women's clothing. "It's perfectly normal for him," she admitted. "He's got quite a slim build and can fit into a size twelve at a push. There's an extra wardrobe in their apartment for his other clothes."

According to Mint, the other wardrobe contains maid outfits, a range of heeled shoes, ball gowns and a tiara.

"He never goes the whole hog," said Tillie. "At least not that I've seen. He doesn't wear a wig or anything, just the clothes."

When the news reached Kate Middleton that her future father-in-law had worn her dress she was initially annoyed. Palace officials attempted to placate her by pointing out that the dress would be completely cleaned ahead of the ceremony, and Phil wasn't the only man in the palace to have put it on.

Kate will be getting a new dress ahead of the wedding.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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