London - Tragedy awaits the nation amid reports of Welsh Canwyll Corph corpse candles flickering in the mist over the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain.
Early sightings reported a Prince Will-O'-The-Wisp apparition, a St David's Day salamander materialising over bogs, swamps, marshes and unsightly public water features.
Downing Street moved quickly to reassure the public that it's only silly Gaelic superstition that links the lights with landmark national eyesores ...such as the Queen or the Prince of Wales.
Secretly the PM is livid because in Welsh folklore the jack-o'-lantern invariably heralds an imminent funeral in the neighborhood.
Or some other major catastrophe.
The Prime Monster will celebrate his patron saint's day by sporting a traditional daffodil in his lapel PR sources confirmed today.
That other national Welsh emblem - the leak - may be spotted on whistleblowers such as David Assange and/or red top editors in the mobile phone hacking scandal.
Happy St David's Day.