The Prince of Darkness, the Third Man, Felix Meddlesome and Tony Blair have come together to save the world from Libyan President Mamma Gaddafi.
In a move, likely to persuade Gaddafi and his family to see sense, Blair told his 'family friend' to lay off the protestors. 'Mamma' he said 'let the idiots protest. I had 1 million protesting about my policies and then they all went home and I carried on and did just what Bush wanted. I wasn't going to be pushed around by anyone.'
Gaddafi, placing his umbrella carefully up the arse of a passing slave, was not convinced; 'My protestors, Tony old chap, don't go home. They have learnt from the Egyptians. I had to urge them to move on. After all, I have a country to run. All you have to do is be religious and piss around with a so-called peace process.'
Tony, having dealt with difficult people before like bruiser Brown, could take it on the chin. 'Mamma, let me pass you to my friend Mandy Meddlesome, she will help you sort out your problems.
'She has no power. What's the use of her?' exclaimed Mamma.
'Mandy here, Mamma. How are you?'
'Couldn't be better.'
'And your family?'
'They are right behind me.'
'I have met your lovely family and I know they must be distressed with the media reports. Don't worry. All it needs is a little trouble in Iran and the media will fly off there. But you have a problem Mamma. I cover this in a new chapter of my book which is coming out in paperback. I will send you a copy absolutely free.'
'Will you sign it Mandy?'
'Of course, with my love. Can I just say this has nothing to do with oil.'
'No. It is about keeping me in power so you get the oil.'