Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 25 February 2011

image for Isle of Wight News: Newby villagers are boycotting News programmes on TV and radio
Newby resident enjoying life

Villagers of Newby, Isle of Wight, have decided, en masse, to boycott all t.v. and radio news broadcasts.

When asked why, Mayor Arthur Askme (yes - he's is STILL mayor) said,

"We residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, are so depressed over everything we see or hear about what is going on around the world that we have decided to boycott the news in all forms of media.

No newspapers are to be delivered to us from the mainland, no-one will be watching t.v. news or listening to radio news because it is all so depressing.

Residents feel that they are totally helpless to stop these protests around the world; helpless to have any effect on 'bringing peace to the world' that they have decided to get on with their own lives and enjoy what time they all have left;"

When our reporter asked if this was not being a tad 'selfish', the mayor answered,

"What the hell are we expected to do? Residents suffering from depression just become MORE depressed as they see and read about the atrocities going on around the world and we have heard that some folk on the mainland have committed suicide wishing they could DO something, but, finally believing they can NOT.

No...sorry...much as we care about what is going on in the world...we have to live OUR lives in the best way we can.

We choose to ignore the news and have fun, fun, fun.

Call us selfish. If MORE folk thought the way WE do...about life being fun, fun, fun....then - maybe wars would end and fun would begin...after all..we only live once...or so we folk of Newby believe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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