Written by grimbo
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Thursday, 24 February 2011

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Companies in the UK have been advised that they face government sanctions if they don't increase the number of women in their boardrooms.

Former minister Lord Davies has instructed businesses to increase female representation in their boards by 200%.

Only 45% of FTSE companies currently fulfil their quota and Lord Davies hopes that the offenders increase their quotas voluntarily without quotas having to be imposed.

"Valuable skills and talents are being lost by businesses ignoring the vast pool of resources provided by female directors", Davies said.

The Chartered Management Institute did confirm that the were confident that the vast majority of their members would voluntarily increase the female presence at the highest levels.

The chairman of the CMI announced "I've had hundreds of e mails from chief executives all over the country listing numerous initiatives aimed at redressing the male-female imbalance .

These include allowing tea ladies to enter the boardroom to collect used coffee cups and uneaten biscuits rather than the directors bringing them out after the end of meetings.

Female tailors and seamstresses will henceforth be admitted into senior managers offices for any last minute adjustments to the bosses' new suits.

And finally the biggest change of all - from now on, all medium to large size companies will be instructed to employ female only industrial cleaners ".

Progress indeed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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