Top London sock designer Michael O'Foot today savaged rival sock designers who continue to design grey socks.
"Grey socks are sooo boring!" he told the press. "I'm surprised that designers like Julian Hose and Stella McStockingfoot continue to design grey socks. As far as I'm concerned, there are two distinct no-no's in the world of sock design - white socks and grey socks. Wow! That just sucks baby!"
Independent sock researchers have revealed that the most popular socks, and the nation's number one choice by a country mile, are the classic 65% polyester model in classic black.
Some analysts estimate that American film actor Al Pacino may have amassed as many as seventeen thousand pairs of black socks in the course of his illustrious film acting career, with Robert DeNiro running him a close second. It has been calculated that DeNiro accumulated as many as a hundred and seventeen pairs of 65% polyester socks during the filming of the gangster picture, Goodfellas.
Which was actually a picture about some really bad fellas.
Julian Hose hit back at Michael O'Foot's broadside about grey socks, saying:
"O'Foot is an oaf. Grey socks are still incredibly popular - especially among schoolchildren and introverts. That lunatic just doesn't seem to grasp that people don't necessarily want to be flambuoyant, showing off their black or burgundy socks to all and sundry. That big sissy can kiss my bum!"
It seems that, for the moment at least, socks are even more popular than hats!