A well-known wanker is to quit public masturbation, amid revelations tonight that the onanist was not fully-behind the knuckle-shuffling cause.
Art Pud-Puller, president of the National Jerk Society, has been accused of courting press attention for his own purposes, side-lining the interests of other NJS members.
During last year's protests into the increase in pornography fees, revelations published in Me, Myself and I, a specialist newspaper dedicated to wanking, accused Mr Pud-puller of being interested only in himself.
"Clearly Art is out to get all the attention he can get to launch his own career in politics. He doesn't give a toss about the grass-roots wankers he's supposed to represent."
The NJS president responded with a robust defence. "As a man dedicated to wanking, of course I'm only interested in myself."
"I'm not a bad wanker. I'm stepping aside to give another wanker a shot at taking matters into their own hands - literally."
But his critics remain unimpressed, claiming that Mr Pud-Puller's limp-wristed defence of his members' rights has damaged the society. "No-one takes the NJS seriously as a society standing up for the rights of our member-stroking members any more," claimed one anonymous auditioner of finger-puppets.
"Art is more interested in joining the government than fighting government policy in the interests of our beliefs."
Next month's NJS presidency elections look set to be a close run contest, with the two main rivals Wayne Kerr and Jenna Taylor-Holder both commanding popular support amongst the wank-and-file membership.