Written by queen mudder

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Topics: Royal Wedding

Monday, 21 February 2011

image for Man changes name to 'Bastard' in royal wedding wreck moves
Northumbria locals are pretty pissed at the tawdry royal nuptials

Northumberland - (Rotters): An Alnmouth-and-no-trousers pensioner has changed his name to Bastard to vent his disgust at the upcoming nuptials.

Michael McNamara-Bastard used an official Deed Poll to become Micheal Bastard McNamara-Bastard and has turned down the guilt-edged royal invite to the 29 April shindig.

"I'm taking a stand against these bastards who're wrecking our country with their tawdry wedding," McBastard told reporters today.

"Doris and I have have sent back the invite so as not to soil our family's good name."

The Bastards will now celebrate their golden anniversary with a pie-throwing gala in their back garden.

Makeshift effigies of Kate and William will be placed in traditional Northumbria stocks and neighbors invited for a stake-and-kidney hurl.

Chelsy Davy is 69.

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