London - (Pretender Bender): "We thought long and hard how to dupe these bastards," the head of the Royal Protection Racket policing admitted today.
"Then someone came up with the novelty ringtone idea after seeing the Nolans on a Morcambe & Wise Xmas Special.
"So we allocated a rendition of 'When You Are A King' as a 'security ringtone' and bingo! Full house. Game, set and match."
The ruse means royal-to-royal calls on Charles' and William's mobiles are always pre-announced with the 1971 Plains White hit: 'When you are a King/Never suspect a sting/Four and twenty hackers singalong/Royal fits they all will bring/When you are a King'
The ringtone will be added to Kate Middleton's own security mobile after the April 29 wedding.