Prince Charles has spoken of his desire to spread the word on the benefits of homeopathy and his unbridled enjoyment of infidelity.
"I'm really passionate about homeopathy and all forms of alternative medicine. I like to think of myself as a living example of the benefits. Just look at me! People are always surprised when I tell them how old I am! I've asked my health advisor, Zandoll the Wizard to present the government with the proof. Zandoll has cured me of all sorts of nasty things over the years. I had a brain tumour once; conventional doctors said ‘No, it's just a headache.' but Zandoll had a look and took it straight out of my ear, no drugs or anything.
"Zandoll's a shape shifting reptile from a small planet called, Burble in the constellation Rurble so has powers that we can only dream of. I even jokingly asked him to cure me of certain woman a few years back and next thing I know, crash! She's gone!"
Prince Charles then went on to speak openly and honestly about his much rumoured infidelities.
"I'm going to be king. Women find that sort of power a real turn-on. It's like being in a roomful of all your favourite toys; you pick one up, play with it for a while then when your bored, just pick up the next one. Why have the power and never abuse it? I've had more tail than a randy dog fox on Viagra in a room full of vixen on heat! It's a tradition for the men in the British royal family to put it about a bit and I never wanted to let the side down; always felt the need to keep my end up, if you'll pardon the expression! Some days I've been walking like John Wayne after a week in the saddle! And I've always had someone there to give me a good massage when the old, err, back's a bit sore, if you know what I mean! Part of the attraction is the secrecy and deceit of course; always makes it a bit of an extra thrill when it's, you know, a bit naughty, don't want certain people finding out and all that."
Prince Charles left the meeting with the Honourable Penelope Highly-Bred (29), wife of Lord Tim Highly-Bred and a close friend of the Prince.