Horror and fury over the proposal to have sex sex marriages in Church has caused uproar in Churches, with the Roman Catholics leading the fight against the idea.
'If sex sex marriages in Church are allowed we fear for the future of the Church' announced the Pope from the Vatican 'how many of our priests will want to seek these unions? We could be find ourselves with very few clergy.'
Others fear the legal ramifications of priests marrying boys who may not be even teenagers. One priest who did not wish to be named told me that he and his young lover wanted to be married in Church, but the civil law unfairly discriminated against them. He also feared that during the ceremony the boy might make unfounded allegations and that his parents could become upset.
The Archbishop of Canterbury explained that the Church had come a long way to becoming more tolerant but some things should be kept under the blanket.
Peter Tatchell, a prominent gay rights activist said he thought the Church was out of touch. 'If people want to marry someone of their own sex in Church this should be welcomed by the Church. They might get a few people actually going to Churches then.'
Suggestions that threesome's could get holy blessing are also in the pipeline and a special Swingers Service is being investigated.
Government proposals over the issue may end up making a U Turn along with Forests - which it is rumoured will not now be burnt to the ground in a Devil Worship ceremony by followers of the Fire God Satan.
With the possibility of Prisoners getting the vote and sex offenders having the right to appeal against life long restrictions, the Government is praying for floods or a hurricane to take people's minds away from the jam they are in.