Written by dutch
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Thursday, 17 February 2011

image for Tabak Caught Using Banned Mobile Phone
Super Brainy Vinnie Guesses Winning Lottery Numbers

Vincent Tabak has been caught using a mobile phone which was tossed over a prison fence to him by girlfriend Tanja Morson. The Dutchman could face loss of visitation and canteen privileges.

A prison insider said that Vincent was caught updating his status on Facebook and as a result could face an extra thirty days imprisonment.

Highly intelligent Tabak has requested having access to a laptop as he longs for mental stimulation. Prison officers have said that is a privilege that he will have to earn from good behaviour.

Vincent's brother Marcel has said that he is disappointed that his computer expert brother has not had access to the Internet. He said, "You must remember that my brother is a highly intelligent guy with a huge intellect that needs to be stimulated otherwise he will get a migraine." Tanja Morson has said of her lover that he usually spends up to ten hours a day on the computer doing computer programming. She said that she is worried that he will suffer from lethargy and go into a catatonic trance if he is not receiving suitable mental stimulus.

It has been revealed that Vincent has been devouring crossword puzzles and suduko. He has made friends with other inmates as he has used the laws of probability to choose likely lottery numbers and the prisoners syndicate has won a £100 which they can have on their release date.

The prison authorities are worried that Tabak a 'people flow expert of buildings' will be able to find a new escape route through the prisons ventilation ducts. They have been wary of giving him computer privileges as they are worried he might be able to hack into sensitive computer files about security at the prison.

It has been revealed that Dutchman Tabak has complained about the 'bland' prison food and has begged for some tasty Dutch cured meat and Gouda cheese and picked gherkins.

Girlfriend Tanya has taken in some bestselling novels for him to read. He is also reading some science and mathematical tomes from the prison library. She is said to be optimistic that Vincent will soon be able to do some Open University Modules at the prison to keep his brain ticking over.

She revealed that once Vincent was abducted by aliens when he was at university at Eindhoven and came back super brainy and able to do complex mathematical formulae in a trice.

Fellow inmates have warmed to the clever Dutchman and have called him "Vinnie the Super Genius". He is said to be watching the entire series of Prison Break on DVD to get some inside information on being kept in a prison. Tanja said "Vincent never for a moment thought he would be in a prison; but his time in the halls of residence has prepared him for it and he is coping well."

Code breakers from Bletchley Park have spoken to Vincent and tried to get him to solve unknown codes which have never been cracked. Vincent has also become hooked on "Countdown" which has never seen before. He is also allowed to play scrabble with other inmates and has been able to do well playing in English and has used his knowledge of English to full advantage.

Tanja Morson was ticked off by the prison governor for throwing a mobile phone over the fence to her beloved and has been assured that her boyfriend will be allowed 'phone privileges for good behaviour.

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