An undercover Supergrass has been roaming the country lanes of England discovering disturbed people who pretend to care about nature.
The findings of the Supergrass are milked back to MI5 where they are digested by experts in the psychiatric disorder known as naturopathy.
Scientists have been working on Naturopathy for some time and have recognised that some people develop strange ideas about birds, animals and the countryside. Cloaked in the disguise of 'environmentalism' these sad people have to be saved from their own delusions.
Therapy consists of suitable medication to get the disturbance under control, followed by exercises designed to rid their bodies of the sick ideas they have succumbed to. A ridiculous infatuation with water is cured by a having ones head placed gently in a bucket of water until the person is ready to come back to normal.
Known as 'deterrent therapy' the person, when cured, is deterred from maudlin meanders in the countryside viewing lakes and even the sea on the coast.
The supergrass cannot be named but we can all go to bed knowing this shy anonymous hero stands between us and the Naturopathy plague.