Middle East - (Shark El Sheikh): Expect Tunisian and Egyptian turmoil to spread to Great Britain angry camel-raising Bedou tribesmen said today.
A letter to the Daily Smearer from the Sinai Peninsula's nomadic leaders warns that 'crazy tarts' like Katie Price are bringing down the monarchy's reputation.
"Jordan's queen is an image loss-leader," Sheikh Rattel Androll claimed today, "and should be replaced with someone less sordid."
The protest comes amid mounting fears a coup d'etat could easily topple the UK's Tory-Glib-Dem coalition.
Bedou elders aren't that happy with other UK slags 'like Camilla and Kate Middleton'.
Fears their British investments could seriously suffer if these ghastly gargoyles continue their mayhem could also see a major run on the Pound.
But a spokesperson for Buckingham Palace has dismissed the rant as a Mossad ploy.
"They're just mad at not getting a wedding invitation," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon commented.
The Duchess of Cornwall is 69.