Written by j.w.
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Topics: Mars

Monday, 14 February 2011

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On the way to Mars

Six volunteers who are undergoing an experiment to find out the physical and psychological effect of a journey taking over six months to Mars have been describing the simulation exercise.

The 'astronauts' have been wearing 32 kilo space suits and are now finding out what it is like to walk on sand designated the planet Mars.

Throughout the voyage the 'astronauts' have been practising their Karaoke performances, with singing being a major way of passing the time.

Special communication has been arranged for a few specialist journalists to speak to the six men and, naturally, the Spoof was represented and - with my knowledge of astrology and Ufo's - I was the obvious choice to take on the task.

I asked one of the men if they had seen any flying saucers on the voyage. 'I saw flashes of light that were unexplained' Vladimir Potrosky told me. I asked about his astrological signs but he asked if I was taking the Pisces.

Then the shock news that the Russians have been determined to keep secret. Tonkroski Kronsdat told me the flight had caused major problems - the boredom had been so unbearable he had been reduced to imagining the plight of people in Britain listening to renditions of the latest Big Society account by David Cameron.

'When I understood how boring it must have been for you' he said 'my tedium became bearable.'

Having fallen asleep through deep boredom during the latest Big Society revelations I appreciated how much better off the 'astronauts' were.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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