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Saturday, 12 February 2011

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Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke has warned that the middle classes are largely unaware of the effect government spending cuts will have on their lives.

Clarke feels in particular that Middle England will be particularly hit by the scale of upheaval caused by the reduced budgets all local authorities will be operating under for the next 5 years.

"Gone will be the days when M.I.F.S (Middle Income Families) can expect to drive around in 4 x 4 vehicles unless there are more than 2 persons permanently registered at their home. From April, 2011 onwards, all families will only be able to purchase family size specific cars. Anyone under occupying vehicles will be liable to spot fines of up to £500.

"The previous accepted practice of MIFS hosting dinner parties every other Saturday night will also be largely consigned to the anals of history. In these times of austerity, it is clearly no longer acceptable for quasi intellectuals to sit around the dinner table and discuss the issues of the day while consuming vast quantities of Hesten's snail porridge and pears in red wine simply because its the "done thing".

This sort of willy nilly behaviour is simply not sustainable when the world's resources are under threat and the United Kingdom in particular will have to tighten its belt big time".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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